Home. Our safest space. Our most fundamental, protected space where we keep everything, where we sometimes hide, where we always feel good inside, no matter how chaotic the outside.
How much has this definition changed now? Home. Our most unsettling space. The chaos outside has intensified, creating chaos within our homes as well. It's become a place where we feel unsafe, uneasy, constantly wondering what we'll do if something happens. Our homes, so to speak, have collapsed around us. They truly have. Unfortunately, these days, our homes are not places that can hold all our anxieties. No matter how strong our fundamental trust, our homes are in a state of difficulty these days.
It will pass, of course. Like everything else, this too will pass. I hope that our homes will be rebuilt based on scientific knowledge. They will once again be places where we feel safe and can live our lives without fear. We will once again have a playground. Just as children continue to play regardless of the circumstances, we too will continue to play our own games in our homes.
Perhaps we could say that home is the safest thing we can give our children. Because home allows us to dream in peace. A child who has the capacity to dream knows how to create their own existence. They can confidently exercise their own existence without needing anyone else.
The home must be strong to contain us. It must establish boundaries that make the child feel comfortable and inspire trust. It must be rigid, closed, and isolating. However, it must also be flexible and open to allow the child to develop their own skills without severing their connection to the outside world. Just like the good parents who provide these for the child within this home. If our body is the home of our spiritual structure, our home is a space that provides us with as much fulfillment as our body.
On the other hand, embracing the home means embracing the family we grew up in. Children learn about closeness, privacy, boundaries, and differences within the home. In a sense, the home is a repository of the familial unconscious. It is both a part of us and a part of the family we live with. Therefore, the home allows us to connect all emotionally intense moments. That's why returning home is a unique experience, no matter how old we are. All the walls, furniture, and objects of the home protect and preserve us.
Home allows us to structure the future with the contents of the past. A child will one day leave the home where they were born and raised, or there will be moves. With each move, they will learn to become independent, a kind of rehearsal for leaving their parents' home. When the time comes to leave, they will know their parents' home is there, just as they did on that first journey at birth. Leaving home is a significant spiritual process. Being independent doesn't mean not needing anyone; it's accepting that others need them, even if only a little. In my opinion, for an adult who is maturely connected and knows that others are there when they need them, we can say they have grown up in a safe, inclusive home.
With Liliput houses, you won't just give your children a wooden toy. You'll give them a playground where their fantasies, desires, and emotions reside—in other words, where the walls, doors, windows, and furniture possess a soul. When it's time for them to grow up and move out of their small home, they'll embark on their first adventure. They'll be able to re-establish their spiritual connection. The bond formed with home and the bonds of family will be reciprocal. No matter where they go or how old they are, returning home will always offer the opportunity for new discovery.
Home is the place we all call "myself," our very existence. Home is an integral part of identity. It's where we feel we belong. Home is the place that accompanies us and facilitates our lives. It's the place that reminds us of our past, our bonds, and carefully preserves all our memories. Home represents a transgenerational story. Two things cannot develop without home: our privacy and our need for ownership. Home is necessary for the development of a good narcissism that serves growth. This is why those deprived of home suffer.
Gözde Hatiboğlu
Alpha Therapy Founder
IPD/Candidate Psychoanalyst
English